Dez Bryant, Mr. M., and me
Mr. M. and i got into a little kerfluffle earlier today on Twitter, regarding Dez Bryant’s refusal to carry Roy Williams’ shoulder pads after practice. Mr. M is of the camp that says “suck it up,” i am of the mindset that says, “get over it, Roy.” and i feel i need to defend my stance on it.
you see, the second i glanced at the story, the first thing that came to mind was “hazing,” not some false notion of tradition or manning up. my stance on hazing is completely committed to the anti side of things, in any form. “but hey, you were an active member of a fraternity in college! surely you were hazed!” well… no, actually i wasn’t. Lambda Chi Alpha has an incredibly strong stance against hazing; in fact, they were one of (if not the) first to implement a national-wide policy banning hazing. one of Lambda Chi’s open mottos is Vir Quisque Vir, translated as “every man, a man.” at its simplest, this means that every man, Lambda Chi or otherwise, is equal, is a man just like you. you can take it further and apply the Golden Rule to it: treat others as you’d like to be treated. its one of the many lessons as a Lambda Chi that really stuck with me. every man has paid his dues in some form or another, and deserves to be treated with respect as such. and at its base, silly public hazing invariably leads or points to more dangerous, private “important traditions” that have literally killed people in the process.
and so it is, to me at least, the same in Bryant’s case. i don’t know his full history, but i imagine he, like most other NFL players, has paid his dues, probably playing football from an incredibly early age, on through to high school, then college, and then recognized because of his talent & ability, as elite enough to play at the highest echelon of professional football. what more dues are there to pay? “i know you’ve busted your ass, studying film and training, and honing your talents to be on this level; now you have to carry my pads to prove yourself.”
what?
thats such utter BS. Bryant has already proven himself on the field as an elite athlete, able to compete alongside others who have equal talent and skill. what lesson does carrying a veteran players pads do? Roy Williams has no say over his contract or plays or drills he should run. if Williams perhaps paid Bryant’s contract money, sure, maybe he deserves some say in whether bryan Bryant participates in a rudimentary form of rookie humiliation. but he doesn’t, and he never will.
maybe Bryant is being a troublemaker, but its only because he’s refusing to be put into a position that frankly is less than he is. Williams needs to grow up and realize this isn’t college or high school, that this is the NFL and although all may not be equal when training camp starts, all that can change in the blink of an eye and at the end of the day, Bryant is in the NFL for the same reason he is: not because he carried someone’s shoulder pads or washed their clothes or went on a late night snipe hunt, but because he’s made his way there as top-level athlete who can compete and is (potentially) deserving of a status reserved for those who have worked to that level.
As the wife and mother of Lambda Chi Alphas, I give you and your father the benefit of the doubt regarding that “no hazing” thing. I also know that, after more than 31 years with your father, the minute I bring up a single thing about The Ritual, I get met with stony silence.I’m sure it’s all about a culture of brotherhood or some such, but to those of us who aren’t IN that culture, it smacks of silliness. I’d love to see what happened if a Lambda Chi Alpha pledge (er, “Associate”) ever said, “Ya know what, guys? I’m just not going through that Ritual thing. I need my sleep, and since this place is all about respect and ‘every man a man’ I know you don’t really NEED me to go through it.”I’m thinking that wouldn’t fly very far — because Brothers need to do SOMETHING to “become” Brothers. And this non-Greek mom understands that, even when she rolls her eyes about how silly it really is.
Bryant has paid even more dues than most incoming NFL rookies because he had to sit out his senior year for some NCAA rule-breaking b.s.That said, he should have carried the pads. We’re not talking about binge drinking or sitting on a scalding hot chair while naked (uh yeah, that happened here at a frat). We’re not even talking about Bryant having to spend hundreds of dollars on meals for vets. We’re talkin’ about practice, man. — Errr, I mean carrying pads. What Bryant should have done was carry the pads and make a joke about Williams having to carry Bryant’s pads once he takes his starting job from Williams (which he will do).In conclusion, the Cowboys suck steer balls.
mm. that last point is very important.
I think that just because he has made it to the pros, he has not paid any dues. I mean, playing a sport that you love, had fun playing/glory in college (except sitting out senior year at OK state for rules violations-not being a part of the team-and lying about talking to NCAA officials) and now get to play for millions of dollars, is a blessing and a luxury. Coming from a wife of a former pro athlete, I think my husband would have definitely “carried pads” had he played a team sport. Because that’s what it’s all about. There is no “I” in team. Now I think Dez would have had every right to cause a ruckus if he had to do something degrading like get naked and sit in a hot chair (what the hell is that???!!) but causing a ruckus about something every player does as a right of passage just separates him further from becoming a part of the team. Now his teammates dislike him and probably don’t trust him. Now let me be clear that I don’t condone hazing in any form, but sometimes in life, rights of passage can be a positive form of building team/group unity and self esteem. A rite of passage marks a person’s progress from one status to another: Rookie to established professional. Right now he sounds like a whiny bitch.My theory: its a publicity stunt from a spoiled, praised too young and promised everything athlete who has a high and mighty attitude problem.
What Mary Tyler S said. +1I tried to find an article about the chair thing but failed. Sorry, y’all. (That frat was suspended and kicked off campus, btw.)
My inclination was to 100% agree with MT’s theory on the issue – it smacks of holier than thou entitlement.But, since I really don’t know the guy personally or have any idea what his motivations are, I would add the caveat that if he really is trying to make a bigger point about serious hazing, then that is admirable. But, that just seems unlikely.I was also in a sorority with absolutely zero hazing, but I thought that had a lot to do with the type of school I attended. I have no idea what my same sorority would have been like at a bigger state school.